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Diary of the Happiestgirl who kept the Strangest Hours.

[ website | Accidental Femme ]
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A wish!! [May. 10th, 2010|12:41 pm]


See....even Doom is down with your birthday!!!!!
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(no subject) [Dec. 27th, 2009|05:25 pm]
Drowning in my SoulCollapse )

"I have to say something to her. I can't keep this in anymore." Hep whispered to her husband.

"No!" he growled quietly as they walked through Mute's Lobby;upstairs to his office. " I told her I wouldn't say anything...to ANYONE."

Hep giggled slightly at this remark. "That lasted all of what ..an hour . You didn't even get inside the house before you had told me everything. Remind me never to entrust you with the secretes of the life ,universe...."

"And everything...hahahahaha. You're very funny in the morning." he said . " Just don't say anything to her ,ok?"

"Fine..I wont say anything . But mark my words, there is more to her than what she has told you and before this tour is over, it will be a huge mess if she keeps it in much longer."


"Dave...seriously? You can not wear that!!" Lilly exclaimed as he came out wearing the tightest pants and 70's frill shirt. She had spent hours looking for clothes for the tour for him only for him to like the worst pieces.

"What?? I look great. " He said a bit hurt. " The ladies go wild for it every tour."

Lilly rolled her eyes." And your now 45 and a soon to be divorced man...maybe that has more to do with it than anything."

Dave's smile fell at the mention of his divorced. After the 10 years together , his wife Jen one day said she didn't love him anymore and had fallen in love with a much younger man she met at Pilate class. He was crushed by her words. He thought he had found the love of his live and his young daughter was all he could think of during the recording of the new LP.

"Hey...Dave. I am sorry. I didn't mean to be so flippet. " she said rubbing his back as he looked into the mirror. "If you want to wear the nut rubbers, then wear them."

Dave relaxed in her touch. His eyes looked up to hers and he "saw" Lilly for the first time. He gazed over her youthful face ,down her slim neck,imagining what was under her baggy man's shirt. He could only imagine the fullness of her breasts as he looked down the rest of her body.

"What are you smiling about?" Lilly asked snapping Dave back to reality.

"Um, oh nothing." he quickly said feeling his groin swell. " I need to use the loo....can you think of something for me ...for the stage." he said moving away from Lilly with his back to her." I'll see you later."

Lilly laughed a little unsure if what she saw was what she thought she saw and a bit flattered at it. She paused for a moment as the reflection of herself made her smile fade. She was kidding herself if Dave thought she was attractive enough to erupt into a hardon. Once she had a beauty ,she thought. She wasn't vain about her former looks. SHe had inherited the best of both her parents. Her mothers rich hair and her fathers light eyes. And now she stood there, a cruel reminder of a life lost long ago.

"Hey..." a voice said from behind her." I've been looking for you."

Lilly turned to face it . She wanted to smile at the face she saw but then remembered the past which greeted her in the mail this morning. "What do you want, I am busy."

Till laughed. " Staring at yourself is now considered work?"

Lilly could feel the rage forming in her core, yet it turned slowly to tears in her eyes.
" You can be such a bastard sometimes."

"According to you, I never stopped being a bastard in 23 years."

Lilly turned away from the mirror and Till, silently choking back her soul,letting it continue to drown in her grief. "What do you want ,Till.?" She forced out.

He came up behind her, pushing the long hair that hung on her neck to the side." You."
He kissed her neck as he moved his hands around her, finding her breasts, the nipples hard with anticipation.

"I thought I gave you enough last night and this morning." she whispered, making no attempt to resist him..He laughed in a way that made her moan softly. She forgot for a moment the past and allowed him to undress her. His kisses along her belly ,then down to sweet spot drove her into mini orgasms. Till smiled to himself with each moan she let out.

"Come here." he said , pulling Lilly over to the couch on top of his hard cock, watching her face reacted as he thrusted inside of her easily. Lilly pulled him to her,his lips sucking on the taunt nipples before him. They moved quietly in a lovers dance .Till held her close , yearning for a kiss that never came. His body growing harder with each thrust as Lilly's arched herself back, exposing herself more to him.

"Lilly...he grunted. " I am...."he barely got out before he came inside her. "Oh god." she blurted out,gripping him tightly around the neck as she climaxed too.

Silently they held each other for a moment,each trying to catch their breath from the quick lovemaking that just occurred. Lilly was the first to move, pushing herself off Till , quickly getting dressed.

"You need to go." she snapped, barley looking at him.

Till looked at her puzzled. "Lilly." his soft voice comforting voice said.

She turned around with fire in her eyes. " No....you don't get to do that. You lost that right long ago. Just go......" the desperation clearly in her voice.

Till's anger suddenly flourished. "I don't understand you. I am good for a fuck everyday, but god forbid talking to me..... I deserve more."

Lilly laughed at his statement." You deserve MORE? You have balls, you know that. I deserve more. I deserve a man who wont act like a 5 year old and well be a fuckin man." she snarled.
" God,how dare you say this to me."

"You wont TALK TO ME!" he yelled slamming his fist down on the table. " I made mistakes...lots of mistakes. But so did you.... what happen last year..."

"Don't ...don't you dare talk to me about last year. You left me...alone to fight. You have no idea.." she stammered,determined not to let him see her break down.

Till could see her eyes well up but didn't care; she needed to hear him. " No idea....i was there. I had to watch you die ..in my arms. I was THERE watching you everyday. You're the one...the one that left ." He couldn't contain his angry anymore . "You left me....without .."

A knock at her door saved them both. " Hey, Lilly, lunch is here."

"Ok Alan...will be right there." she said still staring Till down.

"This isn't over." he growled grabbing her arm.

Lilly for a moment couldn't contain the humor she saw in his words. " THIS is very over. You have put the final nail in our coffin. Don't talk to me ,don't even look at me. At the end of this tour ..that's it. I never want to see you EVER again." snapping herself away from him." Now get out."

Till walked through the door as Lilly slammed it on his back, pressing against it with her own as she slide down the door in silent sobs. "Please come back....for once just come back."


"You ok ?" Alan asked ,sitting next to Lilly during lunch/

Lilly nodded but kept her head down , trying not to look up ,knowing Till was despite her words, staring at her. " I am fine. Just a little tired." Her words were semi the truth. The past weeks brought more work for the tour, but a constant lover in Till and her own project.

"If you want to talk...I am." he begun.

"Thanks....but no thanks." she snapped.

Alan was taken aback but her words." What?"

Lilly turned to him and moved in closer.." You told Hep. I asked you not to tell anyone and you went ahead and told her. My life is not here for your to pick over and disect with your wife. I trusted you...your the only one i trusted." she quickly said , her eyes flaring with angry that Alan mistaken for towards him.

" Lilly....it wasn't like that , I swear." he stuttered out only to have her push away.

"I don't care....I trusted you ."she muttered leaving the room.

"Christ...watch it Lilly." Kessler yelped as she barged past him. "Hey wait..." he siad running after her. "What's wrong?" he asked innocently , turning her to face him. "Christ, ok . In here , come on ." he said pushing her into an office.

"I can't do this..Kessler. I thought I could but i can't go out for 18 months with him." she cried out collapsing in his arms.

"It will be ok, love." is all he could think to say.

Lilly pushed away...."No it won't , god. It's over. It is really over this time. I have had enough of the lies and deceit from him. I can't do it anymore."

Kessler gave Lilly strange look." What do you mean? I thought you were feeling him out."

She shook her head ."I was till this arrived in the mail today." she said handing an envelope to him. " Go on read it and tell me it will all work out."

Kessler looked at the papers and gasped..." She's ..." he began only to stop himself when he saw Lilly's face.

"At least now he gets his family.."
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Pardon me boy is that depression chochoooooo [Nov. 15th, 2009|10:47 pm]
Dear microorganisms or high being:
Next time around ,could you make sure I get more of the manic and less of the depression I would be most appreciative and I am sure the people around me would too.

depression does not suck....it blows
and it sucks even more when you feel it creeping in while youre taking your nice hot shower.

can someone wave their fairy wand and make me a new person. This one isnt working out.
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Bastard [Oct. 12th, 2009|11:59 pm]
so after being "forced" to get my hands on the new Rammstein Lp....

I have declared that the song  Fruhling in Paris is what would happen if Chris Martin fucked Robert Smith in the ass and smacked Ian Curtis with his cum.

and girlmitzi agrees.....lol

other than that...it is a very good lp thus far. None of the grow on me songs. Far better than the poo that DM gave us( sorry martin and davey...love ya still though)
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(no subject) [Oct. 12th, 2009|08:44 pm]
its cold here and i am not sure but i think i am looking forward to trustees later this week....

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(no subject) [Aug. 11th, 2009|10:34 am]
at work...bored. I should be writing a menu and doing orders but i dont want to. rather be home swimming or hanging with the munchkins...mmmmmdonuts!!!
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my new tattoos [Jun. 20th, 2009|10:00 pm]

or look here:



original art by brokenangelred


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(no subject) [Jun. 18th, 2009|09:18 pm]
going for my DM related Tattoo on friday..wooohooo
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The world should forget me and move on [Jun. 1st, 2009|09:11 pm]
The silky touch of the winds breath
Touched my body as i struggled through the scene  laid before me
Its tassels grip me in a struggle i dare not push
My soul wishing for a tighter grip
To squeeze what remains of me
To give into whatever the wind wants
My breath at last sucked from me
As i slowly move the dance of the dead
I am whole with wind
At last
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(no subject) [Jun. 1st, 2009|11:30 am]


Your the sexiest 50 year old i know and a damn fine musician too...;)

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